To Forgive

"Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future." 

- Louis B. Smedes

Life is like two-sided of coins. You'll get only one, either front side or back side. Life is about chances. The chances are always 50%. Whether you take it or not. Whether you leave it or not. Whether you chase it or not. Whether you agree or not. Whether you forgive or not..

Every chance has its own pros and cons. You get some, you lose some. You can not have it all because you have only 50% out of it. You decide whether you want to forgive, or to live with your pain. Whether you keep the memories, or you bury them deep down inside your soul. Whether you make peace with yourself, or you avenge your agony. Whatever you choose, it is all right. You have the right to choose. Even you have the right not to choose.

It is already 2014 and I still don't know what to choose. I want to forgive but it has been hurting much. I want to make peace with myself but my heart has been in pain for keeping long the memories. Once I feel betrayed by someone, it is impossible for me to trust the same person again. Maybe it is possible if I have time staying away for so long from the one who betrayed me. Because I need time to take out the pain and heal the wound. Time for my brain to not judge that new people will be the same like before, can not be trusted. And time for my heart to keep believing that there are still people out there who can be trusted.

Unknown said, "forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace." The word 'peace' is the key here. Guess, it is time for me to forgive because I, myself, deserve peace. To forgive in hoping that they would change. I think I just have to forgive...

pic taken from here


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